Welcome!

My niece joined the family on July 12th, 2010. This special young lady's mother is my younger sister, which in classic Chinese culture makes me her Jiu Jiu (舅舅) -- thus the title of this blog. Here I intend to semi-regularly post reflections, thoughts, stories, and assorted whathaveyous pertaining to our trip to China, adoption in general, and (mostly) watching my niece grow up. Since the web is a very public place, I will attempt to maintain my family's privacy while telling the story... but I invite you to follow the blog and come along for the adventure!

Friday, September 29, 2017

"You Owe Her Big Time"


A belated but sincere L'SHANA TOVAH to one and all -- may you all be inscribed in the book of life for many long, happy, and healthy years!



Uncle Brian done went and screwed up.

Luckily for me, the story has a happy ending. :-)

Every year, the Pipsqueak's school has a special 1-day morning program in which dads can accompany their kids on a "fitness course" set up inside the school. There are stations featuring different tests of coordination and/or fitness, and instructions on how to move from one to the next (e.g., hop on one foot, zig-zag down the hall, etc.). There's also free bottled water & healthy snacks available at the end, along with a couple of extra minutes for inter-generational bonding before the kids all have to go to class. The school's done a good job of trying to be inclusive by specifically mentioning dads, uncles, stepdads, grandpas, and general "father figures" on the handout for each year's event (and they're still working on appropriately decreasing exclusiveness).

Last year,  Miri & I had a lot of fun with it so we were both looking forward to this year's event.  Sooooo of course I managed to get myself myself sick again (too much doing, too little sleeping, and way the [bleep] too much stress for too long), so my ability to participate in this year's program was questionable. Despite still periodically losing my voice, needing 1-2 naps a day, and having to be a mouth-breather multiple times daily, on Wednesday evening I told Miri I was planning to participate and her face lit up like a thousand-watt bulb.

I set FOUR alarms and went to bed early... and suddenly could. NOT. fall. asleep.  Somewhere around 4:00am, the room finally faded to black.  I remember the first alarm going off at 7:00 and thinking, "Oh, good, I have an hour to get there..."

...and the next thing I remember is being re-awakened from an astonishingly weird dream by the combined sounds of my iPhone's klaxon alarm, the loud beeping of my clock radio,  the phone next to my bed ringing, and the phone's talking Caller ID feature announcing AJ's cell phone number.

The event began at 8:15 and the last group would be allowed through at 8:40.  I rolled over to answer the phone and saw a big blue-green "8:18" on the face of my clock radio.

I live about 20 minutes from the school.

I tried to simultaneously get out of bed, put on a pair of jeans, and run a razor over my face without letting go of the phone. AJ doubted that I could make it to the school on time but I told her I needed to at least try. I called from the halfway point and her prognosis had improved from "impossible" to "unlikely" so I redoubled my efforts (i.e., went from driving like an Indy driver to calling Engineering for Warp 8) and cussed my way past slower-moving drivers, through yellow lights, and around curves at what I have to admit was an exhilarating rate of of forward motion.[1]

I called AJ's cell phone again as I maneuvered into a spot miraculously available right in front of the school but she didn't answer. Even more worried, I jumped out of the car and ran toward the front door....

...and encountered my sister coming back out after sending a very, very unhappy little girl into class because the event had been declared over while I was parking.

Panting from my short run, I asked how badly I'd screwed up. AJ's answer started clearly but became muffled after just a few words. Then the sidewalk began to change shape, and a cloud blocked the sun. I put my hand on a nearby signpost to steady myself, and for a moment I thought it was too flimsy and was bending away from me... then realized that none of the above was happening anywhere outside the confines of my head so I held up a hand to AJ, closed my eyes, and leaned on the signpost while gripping it more tightly.

It's good to have a sister who's a trained clinical social worker; she reacted calmly, asked the right questions, and stood by ready to help without drama or unnecessary action. It took a few minutes, but eventually the signpost stopped warping and the sidewalk stopped squirming under my feet so I cautiously opened my eyes and found there were no clouds in the sky. I still had a little trouble catching my breath but the world was slowly returning to normal.

Still panting, I realized that if I'd participated in the fitness events I probably would have been laying spread-eagled on my face in the middle of a school hallway. I should not have promised Miri that I'd participate in something so active when I knew that just walking up the stairs had been leaving me breathless due to congestion (and probably shouldn't have thought of bringing my lovely little URI into an elementary school in the first place).

But I did, and she'd been really really really excited about it, and I screwed up, and now I could clearly hear AJ telling me that the Pipsqueak had been in tears when the event ended and I had still not shown up. Her next statement came through crystal-clear: "You owe her big time."

I didn't disagree. We went over everyone's schedule and came up with zero available time for at least two weeks and then AJ mentioned she really did need to get to work. After I reassured her I felt OK and would just sit in my air-conditioned car for a few minutes to make sure I was able to drive safely, she headed off to where she'd parked and I did as I'd promised. She drove past me a couple of minutes later but I continued to sit, feeling very annoyed with myself over both promising to do what I couldn't and then breaking the promise.

Just as I came to realize that I had done a much worse job of parking than I originally thought (Dude, aren't your wheels supposed to be less than two feet from the curb on a major road...?) I had a mini-revelation: I was taking Mom & Dad to a PT appointment that ended around lunchtime but had nothing on my schedule afterwards (something that subsequently turned out to be only partly correct)... Hmm... I called AJ to check on her schedule for the evening and said I wanted to take the Pipsqueak on a dinner date as part of my apology. She thought it was a great idea and let the after-care crew know Uncle Brian would be picking up Miri instead of Mommy (and to let it be a surprise).

Fast-forward through an increasingly complicated day (and a desperately needed 90-minute nap) and just as I was leaving the house, a traffic alert came through saying the road I needed was blocked by an accident. Thinking, Yeah, it's that kind of a day, I headed to the school as quickly as traffic allowed and was happily shocked to discover the alert was totally wrong. I walked in to find Miri working on an art project, and she looked up at me, gave me a fleeting smile, and then looked back down. Not a good reaction.

One of the counselors said, "Hey, look who's here to pick you up!" and got a terse, "I know, I'm not blind!" that left the two of us looking at each other in surprise. (I'd expect that kind of response from a high schooler... but a kid in 3rd grade? Yikes!) I walked over, sat down opposite my niece while she studiously ignored me, and explained that I was very sorry, that I knew I messed up in the morning and was very annoyed with myself about it, and that as part of my apology I wanted to take her out on a dinner date.

That last phrase got a quick stare, a big smile, and a happy, "REALLY?" and suddenly everything was good in the world again. She finished the art project, then dragged to the back of the room to help pick up her stuff, then practically dragged me out the door. I spent the next 15 minutes sitting in the car getting bombarded by a rapid-fire description of how she was unhappy in the morning but felt better by lunch and she did some stuff in school today and her wiggly tooth is really loose but won't come out and one of the kids was making silly comments at lunch and her wiggly tooth is really loose but won't come out and her mouth feels weird because of the wiggly tooth and is Mommy home or still at work and and and... (You get the idea.)

I texted AJ & our folks so they'd know all was OK and eventually stopped the flow of verbiage from the back seat long enough to decide we would go to IHOP for pancakes. Miri was equally verbose aaaalllllll the way there so I knew she was happy, and the restaurant was nearly empty so we had almost no wait for our food. True to form, she finished one of the kids' platters with a side of bacon, then an adult-sized side of bacon and another scrambled egg, then about 1/3 of my short stack before deciding she was full, all while talking absolutely NONSTOP (mostly about that wiggly tooth) with an occasional break to try out a new game on my iPhone.

That plate was clean 6-1/2 minutes later!
As our talkative meal progressed, I was (very slowly) feeling progressively less upset & guilty for my morning screw-up, but it was really Miri who let me off the hook. As we were getting ready to leave, I began to apologize one last time for messing up her morning, and she replied, "This is better, because in the morning we would have only had a few minutes together but this way we had hours!" followed with a big hug.

I owed her big time but, at least this time, the bill's paid in full.   :-)




1 - Was I driving fast?  Heck, yeah -- but not as insanely as it might sound.  I stopped at any light I didn't think I could get through before it had turned red, stopped at every stop sign, kept decent separation, and made neither tires nor brakes squeal even once.  Meanwhile, I witnessed one car run a stop sign in front of me, a 2nd run a red light in front of me, and a 3rd run over the curb when trying to make a turn, all driving "safely."  Judge me if you want, but I have neither death wish nor desire to maim others and I know the limits of my & my vehicle's abilities.

Sunday, September 17, 2017

Catching Up: Beauty and the Beast Onstage

April continued to be a busy month this year, but we made sure the schedule included Good Stuff that we scheduled for the sake of Good Stuff.  It was far too early to call it a birthday present for the Pipsqueak, but when AJ first noticed "Beauty and the Beast" on the playbill at Toby's Dinner Theatre (all the way back in December!) it immediately became part of the family's plan.

One little complication... All those months in advance and every single weekend matinee was sold out.  Weeknight performances can be a bit of an adventure for us to get to, but hey -- it's Beauty and the Beast! We had to make it work -- so for the first time in a very long time, we bought tickets for a weeknight performance (Tuesday the 25th, to be exact). And, since this was a kinda special thing, it would be all five of us (along with our lovely friend Karole, who's been joining  AJ & Yours Truly at Toby's Sunday morning matinees for years & years).

I'm still not sure how it happened, but we all managed to get to the theater on time.  (Dude, did your sister threaten someone with death so she could leave on time for a change?) I picked up Mom & Dad, AJ scooped up Miri at after-school care, we converged on her house & transferred into her van, and headed off to Columbia at a blistering 35mph. (It was rush hour, after all.)  We had good seats, ate far too much from the buffet (as usual), and managed to get some of the last scoops of ice cream just before they closed the DIY sundae bar to get the show going.

An added attraction for us was that our waitress was the lovely Janine Sunday, who (although she was not appearing in this particular performance) we've been watching in shows at Toby's since way back in the day before she and husband Russell were an item.  Hubby Russell himself was the Beast so we got to hear a little about what went into getting ready for the show along with some personal family updates.

And then the pre-show monologue/intro was underway, and Mom & Dad discovered that their slightly devious daughter had made sure they were singled out in the crowd in recognition of their 64th(!) anniversary just two weeks earlier.  There's always extra applause and few oohs & aahs when bigger anniversaries are mentioned, and they got quite a nice ovation. (Our folks ironically never actually dated each other during several years of what turned out to be something of a courtship; the longevity of their marriage is based on mutual friendship & respect that goes back to their meeting on New Year's Eve 1950-51.)

Finally the house lights went down, the music came up, and we were transported to the world of Disney's Beauty and the Beast live onstage. (Toby's is a fairly intimate theater-in-the-round so anything happening "onstage" was only a few feet away from us.)  There were a couple of times Miri got a bit fidgety, as might be expected from someone still looking forward to their 8th birthday, but she behaved exactly as a young lady should (as usual without being told) and spent most of the time engrossed in the show... even when she spent time in Mommy's lap, which is her favorite seat.

There was the usual "short intermission" which we've never seen last less than 10 minutes longer than scheduled that gave us a few more moments to talk to Janine, then the slightly scary 2nd act that featured Miri's most and least favorite parts of the story. (Beast doesn't scare her; Gaston killing someone does.) Finally, after a rousing closing number and the usual chaos of everyone trying to stand up after eating too much and sitting too long, some of the cast came back out onto the floor and we were lucky enough to catch photos with leads Nicki Elledge (still in Belle's famous yellow gown) and Russell Sunday (still in full Beast regalia):


Nicki was as gracious as we could have ever hoped, and we surprised Russell by reminding him of one of the very first roles we'd seem him play at Toby's quite a while back. He took a few moments to explain to Miri how complicated it was to not only get into the Beast makeup but also how hard it was to keep it on during the show (his mouth seemed to always want to fall apart), and then it really was time for us to all head home. After all, it was a school night, and the show hadn't even started until 8pm!

Mom has always had a love of theater, and Dad's always enjoyed it, so AJ & I were brought up with the same feelings... And it's wonderful to see my how niece shares the attraction entirely from within herself, without any "teaching" from her grownups.  Toby's 2017-2018 season includes "Mamma Mia" right on time for Miri's birthday -- honestly a bit of a "maybe" but still under consideration -- and then Disney's "Little Mermaid" through the holiday season... So you'll definitely be reading about more theater visits in coming months!

Coming in my next catch-up: Miri & her peeps perform on the public stage!







Saturday, September 9, 2017

Catching Up: Easter 2017

(What, doesn't every Jewish family celebrate Easter...?)

To be honest, our "celebration" of Easter is areligious, pretty much beginning & ending with an egg hunt, maybe a chocolate bunny or three, and (if we're lucky) a fun get-together involving good food.  As we have for the past several years, we happily spent it being hosted by close friends from our MIT group.

We arrived at the house surprisingly close to the time we were supposed to (a bit of a feat for this family!) and quickly divided up as we usually do: the grownups all chatting & trying to help out in the living room / dining room / kitchen while all the kids alternated between making lots of happy noise & mess downstairs in the basement or upstairs in CN's bedroom. (Punctuated every now and then with a less happy noise when her younger brother was a boy and the girls were girls, of course!)

After a while we noticed the hazy sky was rapidly changing to a threatening grey so the grownups made sure the younger generation remained indoors and we began hiding eggs for the hunt.  What the plastic eggs lacked in accurate depiction of egghood they more than made up for in volume -- I lost count of how many I'd placed somewhere in the middle range of 2-digit numbers and there were several of us placing the eggs in the back, side, and front yards. Of course it started raining shortly before we finished, but it was light enough to mostly ignore (I took momentary refuge under a tall flowering bush that promptly began leaking rainwater down the back of my neck) and soon the deed was done.

We had plastic eggs placed high and placed low; tucked into dark corners and laying out in plain view; snuggled into nooks & crannies and balanced on fenceposts; in the grass and on the deck; nestled firmly into depressions and balanced carefully on rises; on the ground and tucked into bushes... In short, there were eggs pretty darn much everywhere by the time we were done.  Of course, being me, I decided to experiment a little with the ol' "hide in plain sight" trick using similar shapes and colors:


The weather cleared considerably as we tried herding the cats rounding up all the kids so CN & Miri gave us a quick recital featuring the fan dance they were learning for CCACC/CLAPS...


...and then they were off!


(Note to self: You'll have a lot more photos of the egg hunt if fewer eggs are placed where the kids don't either need help to reach them or adult supervision to avoid injury while gathering them. Oops.)

The rules of the hunt were simple: don't do any major damage to the house, the yard, yourselves, or each other, and have a good time; the result was that everybody had fun and all the kids had an impressive haul.  We discovered that residual rainwater had leaked into a few eggs to spoil the candy inside, so there was careful sorting, opening, and checking of every. single. plastic. egg. to make sure no one ended up with a mouthful of damp & potentially dirty candy. (Dude, they all still ended up with a few thousand calories' worth each, don't sweat it!)


Mom had also put together Easter baskets for all the kids that included giant stuffed bunnies.  The kids were thrilled with their new companions and Miri was happy to formally present them to everyone.... plus it afforded everyone quite a photo op!


(Yes, I know they're facing the wrong way. I forgot to ask if I could post the photo showing their faces!)
We were eventually able to corral all the loose eggs (and egg halves), candy, stickers, mini-toys, etc. along with their collectors and sat down to enjoy a really nice Easter meal.  We started off with the Greek Easter game tsougrisma: each of was was given a hard-boiled egg with its shell dyed red and we took turns knocking them together in an attempt to crack the other person's eggshell. I don't remember who won, but it was a new thing for us and a lot of fun. (I do remember that I was not the winner, but my cracked egg turned out to be very tasty with a little salt so no harm done.)

As good as the food was, the desserts (yes, plural) were the highlight of the meal. The stars of the show were a couple of home-baked Easter cakes that were just as pretty on the inside as on the outside, and delicious to boot!


The kids, well-fueled with sugar and carbs, returned to their happy noisemaking while the adults all tried fending off a bout of post-meal sleepiness with more good conversation (and a little additional noshing) in the living room, but after a while the adults began waking up and the kids began coming down from their sugar high and it was time to go home.

Oh, and my "hide in plain sight" eggs?  It took a few minutes for the kids to collect all of them, so I'll be doing that again!  :-)








Monday, September 4, 2017

Big Day Coming! (with Special Postscript)

Well, so much for posting every 5-6 days.... <sigh>  I'll keep trying, I promise. Been VERY busy. Am VERY VERY VERY tired.

But I will keep posting -- promise. :-)

Anyway, just a quick note today (have to take a pathophysiology test in a couple of hours).

Tomorrow (September 5th) is a big day: the Pipsqueak starts 3rd grade!  We're all happy (so far!) with her teacher, who's been at the school for quite some time & has often taught higher grades. Miri is happy because she's found out that all but one of her peeps from last year will be in her class, and Miri's grownups are happy because class size is reasonable.  (Miri did mention that there are also three "Misbehavings" from last year in her class, but that's to be expected.)

Most exciting of all, though (as far as the Pipsqueak is concerned) is the fact that she'll be upstairs with the big kids now!  The school is built in such a way that most of us asked, "what upstairs?!?" when we heard.  You literally can't see the 2nd floor from the front of the school, but it's definitely there and it's where the classrooms for grades 3 - 4 - 5 are located.  If having to climb a flight of stairs to get to class  doesn't sound like A Big Deal to you (Dude, it's kinda inconvenient, no?), you're not an eight year old whose closest BFFs are a couple of years older than you -- believe me, it is A Big Deal and we're thrilled that Miri is starting 3rd grade with a happy/excited positive outlook.

Of course, AJ is already planning to quietly cry in her car for a minute or two after dropping off her daughter for the first day of school, just like she's done every previous year...  And Uncle Brian keeps catching himself wondering what happened to that scrawny little baby that peed all over him seven years ago in Nanning.  <:-}





SPECIAL NOTE:  We are fortunate to live in an area unaffected by Hurricane Harvey, and those friends & family  who live in Texas have been lucky enough to have (for the most part) missed the worst of the storm's effects. However, thousands upon thousands of people have not been so lucky; I urge everyone with the capability of helping to do so. Some important links:
  • The American Red Cross has a donation hotline at 1-800-HELP-NOW (1-800-435-7669); click here for their website.
  • FEMA (Federal Emergency Management Agency) has the lead in mobilizing SAR, housing, food, and medical care.  Click here for their website.
  • Feeding America is the nation's largest charitable hunger-relief organization. Click here for their website.
  • For those concerned about the legitimacy of any particular group or charity claiming to be collecting for Hurricane Harvey relief, Charity Navigator has a list with charity ratings as well as local (TX) organizations you might want to help out.  Click here for the website.
  • For those seeking information about the area affected, Google has an interactive "crisis map" to show the areas hardest hit, road closures, etc.  Click here for the website.