Welcome!

My niece joined the family on July 12th, 2010. This special young lady's mother is my younger sister, which in classic Chinese culture makes me her Jiu Jiu (舅舅) -- thus the title of this blog. Here I intend to semi-regularly post reflections, thoughts, stories, and assorted whathaveyous pertaining to our trip to China, adoption in general, and (mostly) watching my niece grow up. Since the web is a very public place, I will attempt to maintain my family's privacy while telling the story... but I invite you to follow the blog and come along for the adventure!

Saturday, December 9, 2017

On Identity and Performance

Okay, I know that title's a little cryptic, maybe even a little dangerous-sounding.  It's just the first thing that sprang into my head when I started this post, and despite trying several other titles it insisted on dislodging every other idea from that spot, so...

(Oh, and I know there's a whole lotta text to read through in this post, but there should be some fun video aaaalll the way at the bottom of the page as a reward for slogging through it. Just sayin'.)

My niece is a fairly self-defined personality. Even while we were still in China, she showed very consistent habits & behaviors -- some of which I can still see evolved versions of today -- and beyond the usual basic hoping to fit in well with the people she likes (common in almost all kids & many adults) she is very consistently her. Oh, sure, sometimes she comes home with some silly saying or the occasional fake English accent, and she'll get interested in those aspects of pop culture that her friends show interest in... but when we talk with her or listen to her or watch her from afar, what we don't see is a fear of expressing herself, of developing her own opinions & ideas even if they're different from those of her peers, of basically finding some way of letting people know, this is me and that is not.

I have no way to know if this is the result of being in an orphanage for the first 13 months of her life or simply the way she's wired; I just know that since she was about two years old, I've been telling people that Miri knows the rules of the universe and does not hesitate to enforce them. :-)

One facet of her identity is that she's very much aware of being Jewish in a world where most people are not. Before she was even matched, AJ had made it clear that she was going to bring up her daughter in the same religion that she was born into, and make sure the little girl would be educated enough in the religion to be able to make her own decision as to whether or not she'd follow it, and to what degree, when she was old enough to start taking the reins of her life for herself.

Happily, this has to date not interfered in any way with her relationships; the kids she's closest with cover a small but varied range of religious backgrounds and as far as Miri is concerned, some of them celebrate Christmas and some of them celebrate Hanukkah and some of them celebrate something else but that's all okay because, as she has told me a few times, "Everybody is supposed to be able to believe what they want to even if someone else doesn't think it's right as long as nobody is hurting anybody." (Considering our grab-bag collection of cousins, that's really A Good Thing.)

Combine her strong feelings about who & what she is (or is not), her philosophy of "different is okay," and her matter-of-fact way of expressing both, and you've got a young lady who sometimes pulls the proverbial carpet out from under the feet of folks who don't know her.  The fact that Miri also absotively posilutely loves to perform and has no qualms about dancing or singing in front of almost any size of crowd, and you've got the potential for some really interesting things to happen.

Like, f'rinstance, the annual Christmas party at the nursing home where AJ works.

Pretty much everybody who worked with Mommy and Uncle Brian back at Woodside knew the Pipsqueak; she didn't visit often but when she did she had no qualms about engaging the staff in conversation or try to find ways to help them do their work, and once she'd gotten a little older she would often help out the Activities staff with games & events for the residents.  Although she doesn't visit as often, she's establishing the same kind of relationships at the nursing home where AJ works now.  Since they were having their annual Christmas Party this past weekend, AJ thought it would be a good idea to not only volunteer to help out but to also have Miri join her to lend a hand.  (Mom told me she thinks the Pipsqueak has decided it's her job to help old people.)

So there she is, a little Jewish Chinese girl helping out at the annual Christmas party in a Quaker-run nursing home.  The entertainer who'd been hired for the party noticed her interacting with the residents and figured all the grandmas & grandpas in the room would probably enjoy engaging with a cute little girl who obviously had no qualms about interacting with them on a personal basis, so he made the somewhat fateful decision to include her in his show.

I wasn't there but AJ filled me in.  Things started off on a quiet note, with the entertainer kind of coaxing Miri on-mic to help him out with something, then handing her a microphone of her own and asking her if she thought it might be a good idea to sing some Christmas songs.

Microphone in hand, standing beside a large Christmas tree in the dining room of a Quaker facility full of people there to celebrate Christmas, my niece looked straight at the guy and very matter-of-factly said, "I don't celebrate Christmas. My family celebrates Hanukkah."

Apparently there were a few seconds of very quiet time immediately after that. I don't know if it was the straightforward but NOT "in yo' face" way Miri said it, or the way she stood there holding her microphone up and waiting for him to say something, but I give real kudos to the entertainer.  He looked around and then at her and said, "Actually, we celebrate Hanukkah in my family, too. Would you rather sing some Hanukkah songs?" and the two of them proceeded to do just that. (In all honesty, a couple of non-Christmas songs were already on the program, and he had the music programmed into his sound system.)

(Note: For any readers who appreciate irony... Miri had spent most of the afternoon participating in a special event -- of course the entire family was there! -- at which the youth choirs of several synagogues all performed individually & together with singer/songwriter/percussionist/musician Billy Jonas -- without a single Hanukkah song on the program!)

Luckily AJ had her iPhone in her pocket, and she caught video of Miriam's duets of Maos Tzur (Rock of Ages) and Hanukkah, Oh Hanukkah... snippets of which I've included below for your viewing pleasure.  (Unfortunately, I had to do a lot of trimming of the Maos Tzur video to meet Blogger's size limits; after telling Miri that she's really good and does really well in front of people, he said he hoped the Pipsqueak would get anything she wanted for all eight nights of Hanukkah and you could hear AJ laughingly reply, "Thanks a lot....!" He also asked if she wanted some Hanukkah gelt[1], and she said yes -- plus chocolate!)



After both songs were over, the Pipsqueak got a big hand from the appreciative crowd and the entertainer proceeded to make good on his statements by giving her $2 as combined Hanukkah gelt and payment for her performance!



Oh, and one more thing.  Since I blathered on about identity at the beginning of this post, I thought y'all might be interested on a really good deal I found on Cyber Monday:


We haven't gotten around to having the Pipsqueak fill a test tube with spit just yet, but I'll keep everyone posted as we learn some potentially interesting things about some of her most basic building blocks.



Okay, that's it for tonight, I'm trying to get back on track with my catching up (which is now likely to extend into next year, darn it) and keeping up to date. 'Til next time...!



[1] Gelt = money  It was common in the old country for children to get a couple of coins (especially in poor families who didn't have enough to buy other gifts). These days, the "money" is usually disc-shaped pieces of chocolate wrapped in silver or gold foil to look like coins. I mean, doesn't it make sense to celebrate a holiday involving open flames by giving already-excited young children a sugar high...?  LOL


Monday, December 4, 2017

Arts & Crafts: A Real Witch's Broom

HOLY FRIJOLE!  I got so frakking tired and busy (and tired) that I just realized that it's been almost an entire month since my last post! I have a ridiculous amount of catching up to do -- all in my "copious" free time, of course -- with barely anything actually ready for posting.

I hereby throw myself upon the charity of the jury and ask for forgiveness.  (Really. I mean it!)  Since there are only a few partial bits & pieces of draft posts at the moment, I''m cleaning up the most complete and posting it just to avoid missing any more semi-sorta-current events... so here's a treatise (Dude, it's 34 days after the fact!) on the creation of part of the Pipsqueak's Halloween costume.

And for those of you who (perhaps rightfully) are complaining that this is coming at least 34 days late.... the way I see it, you can always use this for a costume next year, or any other time you need a broom but don't have one handy. So there.



So far, on Halloween the Pipsqueak has turned into a princess, Olaf from Frozen, a giant blue crayon, and a black cat (some more than once).  This year, she went as a cute witch.

I learned of her choice when my sister began gushing excitedly about her daughter's Halloween costume, news that was verfied very matter-of-factly by Miri herself.  We all got the story of how the costume choice was made, how the right top was found, how this little witch would be wearing a poufy not-quite-a-tutu bright pink skirt, how AJ found a great witch's hat with purple stars on it in just the right size, and, oh, by the way, Brian, can you find striped witch's socks on Amazon...?

I was all over that, and the next evening on the phone was reading off potential choices to my bemused sister, both of us aghast at the cost of some of the offerings.  A nicely priced pair of red-and-white striped tall socks (think Wizard of Oz stockinged feet sticking out from under Dorothy's house) were soon added to the costume.  There was even a very successful costume test at a Halloween-themed birthday party a few days ago.

But something was missing.

You see, not too many minutes after the request to find appropriate socks on Amazon came a request to find an appropriate witch's broom as well.

"Oh, don't worry about that -- I'll make her one!"  (Dude, remember what your father learned about volunteering while he was in the Navy...?)

In the two weeks following that statement, I had to deal with a to-do list that insisted on getting longer by the day no matter how hard I worked... so my broom-making was limited to mentally planning out the best way to do the job.  Looking around the house, it was impossible to miss the  bundles of wood air-drying in preparation for kiln drying (for wand-making, more on that in a later post) so I knew the broom handle was no problem.  Should I make it from paper?  Should I make it from straw?  NO!  The Pipsqueak would not have a fake broom -- I would make her a real old-fashioned witch's broom with twigs and twine like in the old days!

(Dude, you really need to have your head examined.)

Then came the phone call from AJ in which she casually mentioned that no, the broom wasn't needed for Halloween on the 31st... it had to be ready for pickup on the 26th so Miri could have it in time for her school's annual Halloween parade on the 27th.

Oops.

Thus began the flurry of activity detailed below. NOTE: The first couple of steps were not recorded because 1) I forgot, and 2) so many things went wrong with Plan A, then Plan B, then Plan C, then Plan... well, you get the idea.

HOW TO MAKE A WITCH'S BROOM:

Supplies: Assorted bits of wood described below; a large ball of twine; Elmer's Clear School Glue; at least three 12"x30" (approx.) strips of brown craft paper; and a pair of scissors. (NOTE: a hot glue gun would've saved me a lot of mess & trouble over the Elmer's; I recommend you use one if you've got one!)

Step 1: Find a good, solid stick that's straight-ish, at least half an inch thick, and at least three feet long.  The one I chose was naturally de-barked by the windstorm that brought it down, and is about 42" in length.

Step 2: Lightly sand the broomstick (Oh, so that's where that word comes from!) so that it remains rustic in appearance but offers zero splinters.  Sand & file the ends so they're slightly rounded and relatively harmless.  I specifically chose a stick without any bark on it because bark tends to flake off at random times and/or can hide little hitchhikers, and I didn't want anything suddenly detaching or emerging from the broom unexpectedly.

Step 3: Gather a batch of thin, flexible twigs. They don't need to be exactly uniform and some can even be a bit twisty, but they should all be 11" - 13" long.

Step 4: Attach 4-5 of the twigs to the business end of the broomstick, overlapping the end of the broomstick by a couple of inches and making sure they all fan out a little bit.  Remember, you're going for a rustic look, so they don't need to line up perfectly.  This was the step where a hot glue gun would've saved me a lot of trouble, cussing, mess, cussing, despair, cussing, broken twigs, and cussing; the Elmer's glue simply could not hold the twigs in place.

Step 4A: Use short bits of twine to tie 4-5 twigs to the business end of the broomstick, then use Elmer's glue to keep the knots tied and twine in place.

Step 5: Cut a strip of brown craft paper long enough to wrap loosely around the twigs and wide enough to not quite cover them completely -- I used pieces about roughly 12" wide and 30" long.  Fold over a 1" flap along one long edge and smear it with glue. (The flap adds strength to the part of the paper that will be softened by the liquid glue.)

Step 6: Wrap the craft paper over the twine holding the twigs in place on the end of the broomstick, glue side down; it should extend far enough to just cover all but the longest twigs.  The paper should form a rough cone shape, with the wide end loose over the twigs but the gluey end wrapped very tightly around the broomstick & twine (see photos below).

Step 7: Use the scissors to carefully cut the craft paper into a rough fringe.
Step 8: Add a 2nd layer of paper fringe by repeating steps 5-7.  The business end of the broomstick should now look something like this:

Step 9: Cut a piece of twine 2-3 feet long (no need to be exact).  Tie it tightly around one of the loose twigs about 1" from one end.  Add a 2nd twig next to the 1st, tied the same way, then a 3rd and so on, spaced roughly the same distance apart until you have enough to wrap all the way around the business end of the broom. You probably won't need more than 10-12 twigs, and should have a long segment of unused twine left at one end.  (Note: I used a bit of glue on each knot to keep it tight and prevent the twigs from slipping out.)  The photo below shows the first 4 twigs partway through this step.

Step 10: Wrap the linked twigs around the base of the broom, covering the paper & twigs already in place, wrapping the long end of the twine around the whole thing & tying it tightly. Use dabs of glue to help hold it all in place & keep the knots from slipping.

Step 11: Add one more layer of craft paper fringe on top of the entire bundle as done in steps 5-7.

Step 12: Cut a long piece of twine (I used about 6-1/2 feet). Tie it tightly around the upper end of the top layer of craft paper and begin wrapping it tightly around the broomstick, wrapping downward toward the twigs.  Loop it under itself every 3-4 turns to keep it from unwinding. When there are just a few inches left, tie a tight double knot and bring the loose end up to wrap under any protruding twigs, then tie it & cut off any excess.  Again, I used dabs of glue on all knots and around the upper & lower edges of the wrapping to keep everything in place.

VOILA - You have created an authentic-looking rustic witch's broom!

After taking the photo above (and a couple like it), I went back to where I'd been working on the dining room table, looked down, and realized I had forgotten something.

Step 13: Get out the vacuum cleaner...


Regardless of the mess, the results of the process were really satisfying -- even if the broom did just lay there no matter how loudly & firmly I called, "UP!" while standing next to it.  The Pipsqueak was happy to carry it with her during the parade (as you'll see in a future post), although by the time all the kids were herded back into the school for the post-parade party Mommy was carrying the broom ("too heavy!"), witch's hat ("too itchy!"), and jacket ("too hot!").  The best part was when I introduced myself to Miri's teacher in the classroom afterwards and she made a point of mentioning just how cool her witch's broom was...! 



In any case, I had a lot of fun (for the most part) constructing the broom, and figured that my experience might come in handy for someone else's costume construction in the future... thus all the verbiage above.

I'll post again in a few days, and 'til then I hope everyone had a fun Halloween and a wonderful Thanksgiving!