Thoughts & reflections by the proud uncle of a special young lady adopted from China.
Welcome!
My niece joined the family on July 12th, 2010. This special young lady's mother is my younger sister, which in classic Chinese culture makes me her Jiu Jiu (舅舅) -- thus the title of this blog. Here I intend to semi-regularly post reflections, thoughts, stories, and assorted whathaveyous pertaining to our trip to China, adoption in general, and (mostly) watching my niece grow up. Since the web is a very public place, I will attempt to maintain my family's privacy while telling the story... but I invite you to follow the blog and come along for the adventure!
Jump in the Wayback Machine... set the dial for 2008 or 2009 (the conversation happened more than once)... and let's eavesdrop a little. My sister is discussing future plans with me and one phrase is, "...and you're going to teach the kid to drive."
Now return to 2025, and this happened the other day...
Miriam Facetimed me on her way to take the test, and busted out laughing when she saw my reaction to the news. "You look terrified, Uncle Brian!"
Gotta admit, she wasn't too far off the mark. Was 2008 really that long ago? Was China really that long ago? Hell, the kid was just a toddler yesterday, wasn't she?
Anyway, I have to post this now & go offline so I can pick her up and take her to an empty parking lot somewhere so she can start practicing... Yikes. :-)
Well, lookie here -- I'm posting twice in the space of a month! Crazy, huh?
Anyway, let's get the worrisome stuff out of the way. So far, we haven't experienced any of this ourselves, but families with members adopted from China are reporting difficulties renewing passports, questions about country of birth, questions about citizenship, requests to send literally irreplaceable documents to bureaucratic offices via regular USPS mail, and delays in forms being processed. When you consider how enthusiastically the "leadership" of this nation is at getting rid of (or at least prosecuting) non-White, non-Christian "foreigners"... well, let's just say we're wary.
So on to some of the good stuff... Miriam's dance team had their first competition of the season this past weekend, and the group dance she was in placed first in category with a "Platinum Plus" rating, 7th overall in the age group, and won both a Hollywood Bound Judges' Award and a "Golden Ticket" slot in the organization's Nationals later this year. Not too shabby, eh? (Yes, I'm kvelling again.)
What's really scaring me right now is the knowledge that, by the end of March, that scrawny little 13-month-old pipsqueak we met in China will be eligible for her Learner's Permit -- as in, she's about to become a driver. (Somewhere about 17-18 years back, I still remember my sister's comment, "...and you'll have to teach her how to drive.") YIKES. I already let Miriam sit behind the wheel of my car -- after moving the seat about as far forward as it would go! -- and see what it felt like to be there when the car was moving* so right now whenever the subject of driving comes up she's a bundle of excitement, anticipation, and more than a little fear that I can't help but laugh at sometimes. They grow up fast, ya know?
*We were in a parking lot and I had my hand on the shift lever, all she did was lift her foot off the brake for a moment, then let out a yell when the car started to roll and stomped the brake again as I slipped the car into Neutral. :-)
Anyway, we've had a less-than-stellar month (2 year anniversary of Dad's death, 1 year anniversary of my uncle's death, and Mom wound up spending a week in the local ER/IMC and will finally be returning home from the rehab center this weekend) so I just wanted to poke my head back in the door for a moment before trying to get some badly needed sleep.
When I was younger and did a lot of reading, I used to wonder what it would be like to actually be a character in one of the books I read. Since Mom was an English teacher who made sure I felt comfortable discussing "uncomfortable" topics openly with her & Dad, I had read 1984 and Animal Farm and Brave New World and Farenheit 451 and other "mature" books by the time I was 10, so I had some pretty wild ideas of what character I might have been, or what I might have done in some rather unpleasant plot lines.
I just never thought I'd actually live to be a character in a dystopian science fiction novel... or that it would be the bastard child of The Handmaid's Tale and 1984, with the "Horst Wessel Lied" as its soundtrack.
Looking at what people are posting in adoption-related commentaries, online forums, and social media groups, I'm seeing a steadily-growing number of people in situations like my family's desperately looking for trustworthy information about domestic readoption, how to get proof of citizenship for their kids, how to deal with local and/or federal workers who don't like the idea of someone being born outside the US being considered the actual legal dependent of someone born inside the US, and so on.
It's not "downright scary," it's frakking terrifying.
Miriam is a competitive dancer who is an integral part of the studio she dances for & takes classes at. She represents her birth culture through dance (through a different dance studio) by performing a variety of dances from various Chinese ethnicities. She is a member of her high school's orchestra, pep band, Student Wellness Committee, student newspaper (at least for the 1st half of the year, there was no room in her school schedule the 2nd half), and several other clubs. She has been a Student Ambassador, speaking with middle school students about what to expect in high school and discussing student needs & problems with County-level committees. She's been in one of the schools 2 annual musical productions (and would've been in the 2nd if it didn't get in the way of the pre-scheduled dance competitions she pledged she would participate in) and was a dance captain for the production, will be one of only 2 or 3 (total) non-pom or cheerleader dancers in the school's big annual musical review (for the 2nd year in a row), and is carrying a better-than-decent GPA that includes two Advanced Placement classes that actually count as college credits.
And now we're finding ourselves having to sit down and discuss possibilities so heinous that I honestly did not think were possible until mid-2024 because nothing in the preceding paragraph seems to matter at all to those in positions of power. She's Jewish. She's Asian. She's an immigrant. She's planning on becoming a veterinarian... And the first two points are potentially dangerous (much more so than when some 6th grade dweeb told her she was responsible for Covid just before the lockdowns began), the 3rd point could actually see someone try to "send her back where she came from," and the last point is something that members of Congress have stated they don't think is the right thing for a female of the species to be doing.
We've all sat down & planned out which papers we're going to get copies of, when & how to get her an updated passport... and how quickly we can get our passports renewed and where we might be able to go if someone decides deportation or holding camps are the right answer for non-Anglo immigrants in this White Christian country.
Do I sound crazy? I certainly thought so, a few years ago. But now it's an everyday waking nightmare. If you have enough different news sources (that can be verified by others, not just Left or Right propaganda sources), you'll already know about people being detained by ICE just for speaking a language that isn't English; pulled from their homes for deportation even while following all the rules and having their citizenship papers being processed; accused of stealing jobs from "worthwhile" citizens just because they're female and/or not Caucasian; and all kinds of other "fun stuff" that's at least supported, if not actually done, by what is supposed to be our government.
It's getting downright scary out there... and we're trying to figure out how to protect Miriam, and a lot of other people like her.
Wish us luck. We're gonna need it.
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