Welcome!

My niece joined the family on July 12th, 2010. This special young lady's mother is my younger sister, which in classic Chinese culture makes me her Jiu Jiu (舅舅) -- thus the title of this blog. Here I intend to semi-regularly post reflections, thoughts, stories, and assorted whathaveyous pertaining to our trip to China, adoption in general, and (mostly) watching my niece grow up. Since the web is a very public place, I will attempt to maintain my family's privacy while telling the story... but I invite you to follow the blog and come along for the adventure!

Thursday, April 12, 2018

YIKES!

Okay, this one's short... but has some meaning (at least for us).

A couple of days ago, as she is wont to do, the Pipsqueak was purposefully being silly-funny while talking with Grandma & Mommy. As the conversation progressed, she got sillier until the following exchange occurred:

AJ: You're weird!
Miri: That's because I don't know who my mother is!
AJ: [ . . . ]
Miri: (smiles)
AJ: _I_ am your mother.
Miri: (giggle)

If it hadn't been for the giggling and continuation of the silliness, this would've been an even scarier exchange (for us grownups, not Miri)... but while it's the kind of thing that just does not have any of the weight or meaning (if it even occurs at all) in non-adoptive families, its meaning in any form for an adoptive family can range from a sideways way to say, "I've got a lot going on inside my head, folks" to a neon sign saying "Welcome to No-Man's Land (Remember to Duck)" or worse.

Every once in a while, usually quietly, almost always like a bolt out of the blue, the Pipsqueak will make a statement or pose a question that lets us know she's very much aware of the lack of direct genetic links to her family.  It's obvious she's working to resolve whatever questions & issues are quietly occupying some percentage of the CPU cycles in her mind as a background process that only she's aware of, but to date she's only made us privy to those questions & issues on an almost random, piecemeal basis.

We're actually lucky; Miri is quick to identify (and defend!) us as her family, and gets upset when Mommy's job gets in the way of Mommy-Daughter time.  While her inner diva puts in an occasional appearance (usually uninvited), the issues are those of any nearly-nine kiddo and/or based in something not working out the way she wanted it to/thought it should. Like this most recent exchange, she'll sometimes trot out something about being adopted as a momentary tease or even a joke... but every time she does we all take it as a sign that she's working on the differences & issues that she's become mature enough (I almost said "old enough" but sometimes she blows us away with a maturity beyond her numeric age) to wrap her mind around.

AJ and I have slowly been building a library of adoption- and identity-related references & resources, both for us and for the  Pipsqueak, and I'm beginning to think we'll be delving into it sooner rather than later.

Parenting is neither easy nor for the squeamish... but when you throw adoption into the mix, its "interestingness" jumps to a whole 'nother level.

AND ON A LIGHTER NOTE...

The five of us spent Wednesday driving around the Gettysburg battlefield (AJ took off work and pulled Miri from school).  We missed doing this for the past two years because of assorted weather and/or health issues, but everything worked out this year so we jumped on the opportunity.

And why, I hear you ask, were you all driving around a civil war battlefield looking at monuments on a schoolday?  Well, it's simple...  Gettysburg was one of the very first places our folks stopped on their honeymoon so we've turned it into a family celebration of their wedding anniversary.

Oh, and that first trip?  It was SIXTY-FIVE years ago.

Happy anniversary, Mom and Dad!


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