Ten Years Ago Today (July 23): A Long Day's Journey Home

I've never been good at getting up very early in the morning, but on the 23rd I popped WIDE AWAKE the moment the phone rang with the usual trilingual wake-up call at 5:00am.  We had to figure out how to cram the Pipsqueak's usual morning routine, our morning routine, all the last-minute arrangements and repacking, AND breakfast into far too small a number of minutes.

The schedule for the day was a bus ride to the airport, a three-hour flight to Beijing, a little over four hours' layover in that airport, and then another 13-1/2 hour flight back to the U.S. (which our itinerary showed lasting only 1-1/2 hours due to the International Date Line and time zones involved).  All three families had all luggage ready for pickuip by 6:00am and I even managed to squeeze in two platefuls of food at the breakfast buffet before time remaining ran down to zero.

Someone (perhaps Lucy) had mentioned in conversation the idea of mailing a letter to the baby being adopted for them to read in the future.  I wanted to do this as soon as I heard about it but hadn't had the time -- but the way we had split the morning's to-do list gave me a few precious minutes alone in the room while AJ took care of the last checkout details so I took advantage of the free hotel letterhead & envelopes and quickly wrote a note for my niece to read when she was older. (I know the envelope has not yet been opened -- but you'll have to ask Miri what the note says, it's entirely up to her.)  I did one last sweep of the room (finding two of Miri's outfits hidden between bathrobes in the closet), then zoomed back downstairs with sealed letter & toddler clothing in hand to rejoin the group. Lucy gladly took the letter to mail for me, refusing my offer to pay postage; it showed up Stateside just a few days after we did.

Our final departure from the White Swan (past the red couch from the previous evening's photo session) was akin to a salmon's swim upstream; there was a solid flow of American families with young Chinese girls coming in the same door we were tryint to exit through. I noticed the kids were all grade school oage or older, so during the traffic jam I asked one of the parents and learned it was a group on a heritage tour -- they'd all been at the White Swan years earlier to adopt their daughters (no boys in that group) and now that the kids were older they were bringing them back to retrace their adoption trips and let the kids experience a little of their birth culture firsthand.  AJ & I were hoping (still hope) to do the same in the future... but right then all we wanted to do was get to the airport on time!

Ironically, the bus for this trip was the largest & most luxurious of the entire trip, but the ride to the airport was quieter than usual. We would be saying goodbye to Lucy at the airport, another final farewell to someone ho'd very quickly become a firend and who had played a major role in making each family's adoption dream become a reality.  The Pipsqueak dozed off... we reached the airport... our goodbyes were said... and we were boarding our plane for the flight to Beijing.

The only moment of note aboard the plane came when the pilot switched from ground power to internal power during our (late as expected) push back from the gate.  The air conditioning dumped all its excess moisture into the cabin in the form of thick, white clouds that obscured the ceiling (and scared the dickens out of Yours Truly) for a few moments.  Once airborne, we watched the landscape below change from a deep, rich subtropical green to a browner, more heavily populated appearance and it didn't feel like much time had passed before we were descending into beijing.  Of course, once Miri woke from her nap, she had energy to spare -- so Mommy and Uncle Brian had to take turns distracting her (Cheerios helped!) and convincing her she really did want to say in her seat.

Once in Beijing, we all had to figure out how to get from Terminal 2 (domestic flights only) to the distant Terminal 3 (international flights only). We found it required using an airport shuttle bus that ran on a strict schedule, with no bilingual help in sight.  We quickly hoofed it en masse across the several lanes of traffic between the terminal exit and the bus stop only to discover there was no way we could all fit onto the already-crowded bus.  An empty bus pulled up next to us just before despair set in and the menfolk quickly began slinging suitcases aboard. By the time all our stuff was aboard the bus had almost completely filled with other passengers -- but the mommies found seats and the guys just hung hopefully onto the overhead rails as the bus pulled out into traffic.

We were surprised to discover the route between terminals required leaving the airport entirely but after a quick tour of a nearby office park we passed through another security gate and arrived at Terminal 3.  Offloading was rushed but easier and then it was time to locate the check-in counters.  The three of us were flying home to Dulles airport while the S and B families were on an earlier flight (on a different airline) to Chicago, but we all decided to hang out together as long as possible...thus AJ & I were able to watch their travel plans evaporate at the last minute.  Just 45 minutes before their scheduled departure, Papas S and B were still what looked like miles from the check-in counter, with a massive crowd still ahead of them. They were eventually told that the flight had been cancelled and the airline staff was scrambling (with amazingly little organization) to find people a way home.  Well after their originally scheduled departure time, both famillies learned they would be leaving late that night to fly into New Jersey for a weekend stay in a hotel before each boarded a different connecting flight to their respective homes.  Aside from a few things said quietly out of earshot of the youngest in our group, this gave rise to jokes along the lines of, "At least you'll understand the language... oh, wait, it's New Jersey, maybe not!"

Now thoroughly paranoid about our own travel arrangements, AJ & I excused ourselves and jogged to the United counter several hours early -- and not only checked in without a htich, we even got the desired upgrade for extra legroom on the long flight home.  We actually felt a little guilty telling the other families, but they were genuinely glad for us. (At this point I decided the "wishing vessel" in the temple only worked for the wisher's immediate family.)  All travel arrangements finalized, the group headed through security for one last time... nope, two last times... oops, make that three times...  (Dude, you better not complain about buffing the floor at U.S. airports with your stocking feet after all these security checks!)

And then came the point we'd all expected but weren't really ready for: AJ, the Pipsqueak and I had to go left, and the other two families had to go right.  We had all been together nearly 24x7 since arriving in China; each had watched the others meet their new daughter for the first time; and had shared many personal moments, family differences, dirty diapers, and new adventures. Now we had to separate, no knowing if or when we'd be able to see each other again.  There was a last round of hugs, hopeful mentions of possible reunion times, and after one more look over our shoulders (and Papa S calling out to general agreement that we were all family for each other now) we went our way and they went theirs.  It actually felt strange for just the three of us to be wheeling through the airport knowing that we weren't all getting together again for dinner that evening.

I remember thinking that our new family life had really begun at that moment, with faint glimmerings of our new "normal" on the horizon... 

....and our China trip was now truly over.

Once again in liminal space, we walked -- and walked, and walked! -- through the departure areas as I mulled over our situation.  The last time we had been moving through an airport like this, there were just two of us starting "The China Trip" we had been working toward for years.  Once that trip began, we were always with two other families and at least one guide, with each family participating to some degree in the other two families' addition of a new member. There was always one more hotel breakfast buffet, on more day sharing the sights or worrying over paperwork, one more day of wondering how the little ones would do once we were all back Stateside... And now, with an unexpected suddeness, the trip was done & over with, there were three of us instead of two, and each subsequent day would be a new version of mundane without the daily flow of new sights, sounds, scents, and flavors.  (I knew better than to think there would be no more adventures; they would just be occurring in more familiar surroundings.)

I tried writing in my journal -- sadly neglected throughout the trip, due partly to exhaustion and partly to the Pipsqueak wanting to play with the pen whenever it was within reach -- but found myself more involved with people-watching.  It took me a few minutes to realize why the scene seemed so strange... (Dude, all these adults... where are the kids?!?)

We needed water to mix a bottle of formula, so I found a vending machine and bought three bottles. I used a Yuan note for the first bottle, and the machine gave me back the first Chinese coins I'd had for the whole trip -- which I really wanted to keep, but the only other Yuan notes I had left were denominations the machine didn't take so I used the coins to buy two more bottles (that way AJ and I could have a drink and still have water for more formula later.) As usual, the Pipsqueak attracted some attention, and there were a few short but pleasant conversations with other people waiting to board the plane. (One woman noted that the last time she'd used the same airline as the S and B families, she had a similar problem that chewed a couple of days off her itinerary!) The call to line up for boarding finally came, and we were bumped us to a shorter, earlier-boarding line because of the Pipsqueak. Finally, we started filing through the doorway, boarding passes scanned as we did the Baggage Dance one last time, and...

Yet another security checkpoint was being set up at the base of the jetway.  I had no idea what they could be looking for, since everyone there had already gone through at least three permanent checkpoints where their luggage & papers were repeatedly examined, but right there -- at most 15 feet from the door of the plane! -- was a set of folding tables with two armed guards at each.  Everyone scrambled to unlock and re-open bags, carry-ons, etc. for yet another examination by the Chinese authorities. Even more annoying was the confiscation of our unopened water bottle; had I known I woudln't have bought it and thus would still ahve some interesting coins to add to my souvenirs.

A young woman in miitary uniform motioned me toward the closest table, then patiently(?) waited while I dug out all the necessary keys and unlocked my carry-on.  She quickly rummaged through everything, oddly not bothering to check any small compartments or look in my laptop's carry sleeve but carefully looking inside all the folded clothing, then gave me a polite "Okey!"  A quick reorganizing, rezipping, and relocking later, I was waiting for AJ to be allowed to catch up and a few minutes later we finally boarded the 777 for our flight home.  (Note: Back home, AJ told me that she & Miri had been checked for explosive & chemical residues with an electronic "sniffer" -- not just this time, but at every security checkpoint throughout the trip!)

For the first time since arriving in-country, we pushed back from the gate on schedule and it wasn't long before we again felt the familiar pussshhhh and lift and (albeit with mixed feelings) were leaving China behind.  The seating was arranged 2-5-2 across and we had seats 3 through 5 with Miri between us; I missed having a window but was glad to lea be able to lean back, catch a movie or two, and maybe catch up on some sleep.

Wait... sleep? On a plane? Moi?  I've never been good at it, and this flight was no exception.  The young Chinese girl on my right (in her young teens) and her mother had a tendency to lean away from each other, which meant she was usually leaning into me.  Meanwhile I was helping keep an eye on the Pipsqueak, who was traveling like a pro but would periodically either get too close to the edge of her seat or conk her head on the seat belt buckle when she laid down (the latter bothering her much less than it bothered AJ or I).  To our left, one row up, was a mother (accompanied by an older woman) traveling with a little girl in a "lap seat" -- meaning the child was in her lap for the entire flight -- and while I understood the likely desire to save money it wasn't too long before I caught myself wishing the kid would just pass out or something. (I actually didn't blame the poor girl for being loudly crochety; her mother unintelligently failed bring along anything to keep her entertained.)

Counterpoint to the young girl's occasional crying & whining (and, once again, the infotainment system being glitchy) was provided by the polite & happy attentiveness of the cabin crew.  The three ladies working in our section were a good team -- and they seemed to take a shine to Miri, quickly learning the timing to bring water for her formula & frequently checking to make sure she and her Mommy were OK.  The flight was relatively uneventful, and the Pipsqueak only got smelly a couple of times (which is how we learnged the B777 only as fold-down changing tables in some of its bathrooms).  It was cool to see our wingtip just brushing the North Pole on the seatback monitor before watching another rerun of "Ratatouille" or "Date Night" or "Clash of the Titans" (hey, I like variety).

There was one scare just after we began fina descent into Dulles.  We had all 3 tray down to discourage Miri from exploring that big open area under the seat in front of her and AJ & I were talking about nothing in particular... when all of a sudden my niece disappeared headfirst through the tiny opening between her seat and the tray table with a loud THUNK! as her head hit the floor.  Of course we had all kinds of stuff on the tables, so there was a mad scramble to get one folded up out of the way so we could reach the Pipsqueak.  I don't know how AJ did it so fast but she was scooping her daughter up off the floor and checking her head (not even a bump!) and cooing calming noises in her ear in about 2.7 seconds.  Heart rates slowly returning to normal, we were soon stowing everything away for the last time...

...and then came the experience of getting into the terminal.

As I mentioned in my post about our flight to China, Washington Dulles International Airport[1] at that time still used a 1960s system that falls into the "it seemed like a good idea at the time" category. To avoid the then-common walk across an open tarmac followed by a climb up a portable stairway into the plane, passengers would be carried between terminal & aircraft in a "mobile lounge" -- the entire body of which would rise to the height of the aircraft/terminal door for everyone to get on, then drop down onto its chassis for the drive between doorways, then rise back up to door level to let everyone back off.  ("Jetways? We don' need no steenkin' jetways!")  This means you have to endure the usual crush & rush to get off the plane only to get crammed into a crowded bus, wait for it to fill, wait for it to drop down, wait for it to make its way to the terminal, wait for it to rise back up, and then endure that lovely rush & crush again before actually stepping inside the terminal.

So we pushed & pulled our way off the 777 onto the crowded, stuffy mobile lounge... and didn't go anywhere. And then didn't go anywhere some more... and then for a while longer.  The flow of the crowd had pushed AJ & Miri far forward of where I stood, but I was right next to the cabin crew and overheard the last one to leave the plane tell the rest that there was a confused elderly Chinese gentleman on the plane who thought he had lost something. Problem was, he didn't remember what he had lost, where he had sat on the plane, or if he'd lost the something on the plane or back home in Beijing; he just knew he'd lost something and didn't want to get off the plane without it.

Flight schedules eventually overrode the needs of one confused passenger and we finally dropped down, dodged around a few planes & trucks, then rose back up to match doors with the terminal and everybody piled off. Then we walked down a corridor... and walked down a corridor... and walked down a corridor some more because the delay had forced us to be dropped off at the far end of the terminal from where we were originally supposed to pull in.  We finally reached the Customs area and stepped to one side to catch our breath.  AJ needed to make a pit stop so I gladly held onto the Pipsqueak.  I realized it might be the last "alone time" I had with her for a while, so we had a quiet little talk, just the two of us, and I think she understood my tone if not my actual words.  It was a nice private moment between me and my niece, and I'm glad I had those moments before having to start sharing her with the rest of the family.

Consular staff back in Guangzhou had told us we didn't need to stand in the Foreign Arrivals line when we returned Stateside; since ours was just one of five planeloads of international passengers arriving at the same time, the U.S. Citizens line was happily much shorter. Even so, we had to zig-zag through the line for at least 20 minutes before reaching the line of kiosks where an officer would open that all-important Brown Envelope (it really was a capitalized proper noun in our minds) and stamp a couple of pages that would magically turn the Pipsqueak into a U.S. citizen.  While standing in line, I marveled at the variety of people around us: a rainbow of skin tones, dressed in everything from African tribal designs to business attire to plain ol' cutoffs and tees... an amazing variety that we did not see in China.

We finally reached the front of the line and one of the guards motioned for us to come to his kiosk. He took a quick look at the papers and did what he had to (although the SSN application we were told was in the envelope was not)... and then we were on the other side of Customs and the Pipsqueak's Chinese passport was no longer valid.  (I think that was the first time in five years that my sister dared to breathe normally.)

We got to Baggage Claim to find all the carousels shut down and several planeloads of luggage simply spread out on the floor.  By this time we could have probably recognized our luggage with our eyes closed so in less than five minutes it was all on a baggage cart.  We pushed through the double doors...

...and found ourselves on yet another line.  (Dude, there's a theme here...)  This time there were two guys in uniform -- just two!-  in the middle of the hallway collecting all those little Immigration cards that everyone on every flight had been required to fill out.  (AJ had needed a second card because Miri got hold of the first one.)  I handed our cards to the guy on the left, he smiled and said, "Welcome home," and we pushed through another set of double doors to the Arrivals area.  I was concentrating so much on navigating our baggage cart through the crowd that I missed Dad standing on one side, waving his arms in the air and snapping his first photos of his new granddaughter.  I eventually realized that AJ was yelling for me to stop and wait, and then we all found each other and jumbled together in a big happy family "HI!" for a couple of minutes.  (We all enjoyed the little in-joke of the pink "Made in China" tee AJ had put on the Pipsqueak just before our flight landed -- and were amazed when Miri showed signs of recognizing her grandparents as the people she saw in all our Skype sessions in China.)

A few more photos and a pit stop later, we slowly made our way to the exit and out into the parking lot. It was a beautiful night, and after two weeks in subtropical southern China the heat and humidity of a late July Washington summer felt cool and comfy.  Our folks had picked us up in AJ's SUV because it had the most room, so there was a bit of comedy as everyone tried to remember which button did what (or even how to open the doors).  All that practice on the tip paid off because AJ & I waved Dad off and had everything stowed in three minutes flat.  Dad & I both took photos of the moon rising above the main terminal building...

...and then the peace was shattered by the Pipsqueak's discovery that she was going to have to ride strapped into a baby seat instead of sitting in Mommy's lap.  She might actually have been heard all the way back in Guangzhou, and we were all wondering how we'd manage the long ride home with that sound, but by the time we reached the Dulles Toll Road Miri had mercifully fallen asleep.

We got to AJ's house in good order, and discovered that a neighbor had decorated the front as a surprise to welcome her home with the neighborhood's newest addition. We unloaded everything and transferred my suitcase & carry-on into our folks' car before hauling everything else up the steps and into the house. It felt weird to leave my stuff in a vehicle instead of bringing it through the door with me, but the idea of "home" was (very slowly) beginning to settle in. We spent some happy time just hanging out, watching Miri explore her new home with a little help from Mommy and Grandma. Everyone enjoyed watching Grandma feed Miri for the first time ("Is she always this messy?" "No, sometimes she's worse...") while Grandpa taught her how to play pattycakes and give high-fives. 

Miri was beginning to doze off again and AJ & I had pretty much exhausted our adrenaline reserves, so the newly-minted grandparents forced us to say goodnight and drove me home.  I had thought it felt stranged to be traveling without the other families, but there was no comparison to how weird (and kinda lonely) it felt to be going somewhere without AJ and the Pipsqueak nearby.  I thought I would be too wound up to sleep, but I simply dropped my suitcase inside the door, hauled my carry-on up to my room, and managed (barely) to stay awake long enough to wash up before collapsing into bed... a bed that I had long complained was too firm to be comfortable, but which now felt like a cloud when compared to the beds I'd been sleeping in during the trip.

I did manage to stay awake long enough to check the clock and do a little basic math.  We had flown "backwards" across so many time zones that it was officially still the same day as when we'd woken up in Guangzhou... so for the three of us, "Friday" had lasted almost 32 hours!

I'd like to say I closed out this landmark day with some pithy thoughts or meaningful insights, but what I actually did was turn off the light and pass out while wondering how long it would take me to catch up on all the laundry in my suitcase.

We'd gotten the Pipsqueak home.[2]

[1]  Most locals just call the airport "Dulles" (and its three-letter code is IAD for "International Airport Dulles") but its actual name is "Washington Dulles International Airport" -- with the "Washington" added sometime in the 1980s when someone realized that an awful lot of foreign tourists were accidentally flying to the Washington, DC metro area instead of their intended destination of Dallas, Texas.  (No, I did not make that up!)

[2]  I've written about it before, and I'm sure I'll write about it again, but just for the record: 1st I-8 adoption forms filed, August 2005; 1st home study completed, November 2005; LID (log in date of adoption paperwork by the CCAA), May 2006; 2nd home study completed, June 2007; 1st I-8 renewal, July 2007; Hague Convention goes into effect for all US adoptions, April 2008; 3rd home study completed, November 2008; Hague Convention goes into effect in China, January 2009; Miri is abandoned at the Health Center in Wushizhen, June 2009; 4th home study completed, April 2010; AJ & Miri are matched by the CCAA, May 2010; Miri joins the family, July 2010.  Elapsed time: four years, eleven months.