Another IKEA Adventure, Enfin le Fin (Ouch!)

[NOTE: This is a big oops -- I thought I had clicked on "Publish" back when I finished this entry, and only realized it was still an unpublished draft when I went into the system to write my next post!  So... on that note, here is the closing episode of our latest IKEA misadventures, just 3-1/2 weeks after I saved it as a draft "to publish in a couple of days"... <sigh>]

 

Okay, Smastad, it's me or you... and I'm the only me I've got, so it's gonna be you.

At least that was my attitude when the time came to finish the stupid desk and finally be DONE with it.  After all, we were all planning to get together for a family dinner that night...

Yeah, like that happened. <sigh>

As I stood in Miri's room and tried to visualize how we'd fit all the pieces into the available space, I realized that since we were building the entire thing as a mirror image of our original plan, the desk would now be directly in front of the electrical outlet we planned to use for lighting on both the desk and the bed above it... leaving no way to actually plug anything in.  AJ & I sort of stood there just looking at each other for a minute, and then I drove back up to where I had come from (literally passing my own house on the way) and visited the "Electrical" aisle at the local Home Depot.  My plan was to buy a sideways multi-tap to replace the regular outlets, along with a new surge suppressor to replace the one AJ used to charge her laptop which had begun to spark every time something was plugged into it.

Well, I guess a lot of folks got electronics for Christmas this year, because that aisle was thoroughly picked through.  After resorting to Plan B, then Plan C, I finally settled on Plan D and grabbed a couple of extension cord/surge suppressors that had flat, sideways-facing wall plugs. (I got two different models because there was literally just one of every such item left below the $50 mark.)  Mission accomplished, I re-retraced my steps (in the car) and returned to AJ & Miri's to dive back into the IKEA construction project, which I had sworn to myself would be finished today, come hell or high water.

First, there was the usual hauling of boxes from the garage to the living room, the fight to open the boxes up, and then the hauling of furniture parts up another flight of stairs into Miri's room.  Then came the usual counting of pegs and cams and bolt and other bits of hardware, followed by the usual round of, "What the heck is that... oh... maybe...?" while leafing through the instructions before actually trying to join pieces together. (Note: ALWAYS a good idea, since there are occasional surprises hidden in there... and not always pleasant surprises at that.)

After figuring out what comprised "left" and "right" (there were multiple ways to assemble the entire piece of furniture, each requiring we start on a different page of the instructions and each changing the location of certain boards and/or fasteners), then hunting down the Phillips head screwdriver that seemed to walk out of the room on its own (eventually located under several other tools), we got to work and soon had... a large white box.

(In retrospect, we had actually assembled something that looked like it belonged in an etching by M.C. Escher, but... yeah, it was a box.)

Now it was once again time for a game of, "Is this the left, or is this...?" until we got what would be the actual top surface of the desk attached to our Escher-ish construct. The momentary feeling of victory was tempered by the realization that we had to now shoehorn the whole thing into the bottom of the bed completed bed frame... with zero clearance because it bolted directly to the bed frame on each side... but that we also had to line up bolt holes on the back of the desk and bed frame, so the entire construct had to be pulled away from the wall to give us enough room to work behind it as well as inside it.  (Did I mention that Miri's bedroom is actually rather small and already has other furniture occupying space against the opposite wall...?) It didn't take too much thinking to figure out that because of the space (not) available in the room, AJ was going to have to squeeze in behind the frame because her larger brother with his creakier joints was unlikely to fit... or to be able to get back out from behind the frame if he somehow managed to get behind it in the first place...  (Obviously, I did manage to squeeze in far enough around one end to photograph my sister's contortions as she tried to get back out from the space she'd gotten into!)

With all the major components finally bolted together (including a couple of bolts driven in "blind" through the closet at one end which miraculously lined up perfectly with their holes), it was time to put together the drawers for the desk.  AJ showed me the page in the instructions that showed where the drawer slides had to be installed in the desk and set about putting the drawers themselves together while I tried (with minimal success) to contort myself into a position that wold simultaneously allow me to screw the drawer slides into place while also still breathing.

About those drawer slides... The Smastad desk could be built with two, three, or four drawers; we were going for the three-drawer version, and the instruction book very clearly laid out exactly where the slides were supposed to go; the inner surface of both side of the "box" of the desk had long rows of pre-drilled holes and the instructions showed not only a line drawing of the proper locations, but also gave the number (counting up from the bottom) of which holes should be used for attaching the rails for each version of the desk.  AJ even commented that I needed to put the slides into such-and-such a hole for each drawer.

Guess what I did? 

I'll give you a hint. On the left is my original install; on the right, the final install.  <sigh>

Despite my sister's smirk -- and the requirement for me to periodically crawl back out from under the desk and give parts of each drawer she was working on a good smack! to lock them in place -- we soon had the desk completed and stepped back to admire the fruits of our labors.

(We're still not sure if we picked up the correct drawer front for the big one, but we ain't changing' nuthin' else if we don't have to!). Throughout the construction process, Miri had been hovering nearby but due to lack of space she finally retreated to the living room sofa (with her iPad, of course) and would come running up when we called her to help find things, or move things, figure out how she wanted things, etc. etc. etc.  Now we called her up and after a little victory dance, the Pipsqueak began to experiment with placing various items and soon had her new desk set up the way she wanted it.

The next step was to put the doors on the small closet located at one end of the bed frame, which went swimmingly once we shifted the entire eleventy-seven ton piece a few inches farther from the wall so I could fit into the space.  The almost infinitely adjustable hinges actually lined up nicely with very little tweaking, and I felt pretty good about the whole thing until I stood up and forgot about the shelf over my head.  Luckily, the furniture was undamaged and my head stopped hurting a couple of hours later.

Miri excitedly began hanging clothing in the new closet, and hanging clothing in the new closet, and hanging clothing in the new closet... until there was a loud crash as one end of the bar across the closet gave way under the weight.  After advising the Pipsqueak that maybe putting all her clothes there wasn't a great idea (and figuring out how to put the parts back together in a slightly different arrangement), we took a few minutes to gather up all the assorted pieces of cardboard on the floor and generally try to put the room back together.

One last task was to get the most loved (and possibly most fragile) picture back up safely on the wall. Of course, lil' sis had no idea where her stepladder had gotten to, and the little folding step stool she had was too short for me to reach high enough... so after double-checking the bed's weight limits one more time  she got up into the elevated bed while I used a tape measure & pencil on the wall to show her where to hammer in a nail (while I carefully made sure I was not standing under the hammer) and our uncle's Pooh painting was soon once again hanging in a safe spot.

With a collective sigh, we all went downstairs, Calle Mom to let her know we'd have to do a family dinner some other night because it was getting late & we could barely move, and plopped down on the couch to take a breather.

BUT WAIT, THERE'S MORE!

Y'see, AJ had had to buy several sets of scrubs for work because (even though not a nurse) she was in direct contact with residents & patients -- and given the current virus situation, the more separation between what she wore at work and everything else she wore, the better.  While at IKEA, she had found a small chest of drawers that would let her store all her scrubs separate from her regular clothes... and her foolish brother had said sure, he'd help her put it together.

First we hauled up one of the two remaining boxes from the garage, laid all the pieces out, compared them to the drawings in the instruction booklet, and realized we needed to open both boxes (of course there was more than one box of furniture parts for this small chest!) in order to have all the parts needed for Step 1 of the instructions.  After a few more minutes of prying, sorting, and shuffling around on the floor, we had everything laid out and ready to go...

With Miri kibitzing, we figured out which side was which, figured out which end was which, counted out all the pieces of hardware, and began assembly. I mean, c'mon, it's jus a small  chest with three drawers, how hard could it be?

First, the drawer rails are attached to the sides... No, that one has to flip around... No, use these holes for the screws, not those... Why doesn't this peg fit into the ho-... oohh... 

Seriously, this darn thing just refused to go together despite us carefully distributing the work between us and coordinating with each other on each step.  After the massive project that was the bed frame, we were finding this little thing a lot harder to assemble!  Eventually, all the different parts that formed the outside of the chest were together and... Oops, no, we put that piece on backwards, can these be pulled back apart without undoing the whole thing....?  Finally, after a ridiculously long time (due in part to us being tired and sore), something vaguely resembling the picture on the instruction booklet was occupying the space formerly occupied by a whole bunch of different parts.

Now it was time for the drawers. Again, no problem, right...?  <sigh>

Despite us having successfully assembled four almost identical drawers already (3 for the desk, 1 in the bottom of the closet), these were just plain uncooperative. Snap-in parts had to go just so or they wouldn't snap in, pegs and holes kept slipping out of alignment... Add in our increasing exhaustion (and crankiness), and the whole process soon devolved into the two of us quietly cussing at no one in particular as part after part exerted its independence while Miri kept a safe distance from it all (my niece ain't no dummy).  Finally, after realizing we'd reversed the position of one key component on each of all three drawers, all the parts fit together as intended and we were ready to place the chest in its new home.

Now, let's get one thing straight: my sister is an intelligent, educated, and capable woman... but she has a somewhat rocky relationship with numbers and measures. The result was that after carrying all the parts of the little chest up to her room, we had to again play a game of, "What If That Was Moved There?" and "Can You Push That Over Another Inch?" and a few other closely-related games until finally, with a sense of accomplishment that no measure of exhaustion or soreness of body joints could diminish, the last of the IKEA pieces was complete and planted firmly in place.

It may appear innocent, but looks can be deceiving!

After helping gather one last crop of assorted cardboard, bits of plastic bag, et al., I bid my sister & niece goodnight, drove home, downed a couple of Aleve capsules, and gently creaked & groaned my way into bed.

It had taken half a year of waiting and many painful hours of work, but the Pipsqueak had her new loft bed (with desk and closet) and AJ had her scrubs storage. Yay, us!