Happy New Year(?)

Xin nian kuai le - "Happy new year!"

Okay, I know I'm a few days behind (mainly because I discovered that I'd forgotten to post the last installment of our latest IKEA adventures!) but...

 Happy (Chinese) (Lunar) New Year!

This is the Year of the Ox, and it's the Pipsqueak's year -- the last time we were in the astrological realm of the horned bovine, she was busy being born and found.

 The Ox is the second of the twelve animals in the Chinse zodiac, a position it occupies because (according to legend) in the great race between animals decreed by the Jade Emperor to see what order they would be placed in, the large and powerful Ox was in the lead but agreed to help the smaller Rat across a river at the end. (Some versions of the legend say it simply agreed to carry Rat if he wold sing to keep the Ox from being bored during the long journey.)  Just before the finish line, the Rat jumped off Ox's back and scooted ahead to grab the winning spot.

The Chinese zodiac is quite a bit more complex than just the dozen animals we're all familiar with from restaurant place mats, so a more detailed description would be that this is the Year of the Metal Ox, associated with Yin (of Yin/Yang), with the "Xin" Celestial Branch and "Chou" Earthly Branch.  (This differs from Miri's birth year in that she was born under the Earth Ox with the "Ji" Celestial Branch.)

Gong xi fa cai - "Wishing you happiness and prosperity"

Individuals born under the sign of the Ox are said to be honest, diligent, earnest, and hard workers; they are usually skilled & talented but rarely seek out praise and prefer to not be the center of attention, thus earning recognition for their accomplishments through hard work rather than by drawing attention to themselves.  They are generally kind & helpful, even-tempered, and believe that each person should fulfill their responsibilities.  In particular, women born under the sign of the Ox are calm and gentle but rarely surrender to fate, working hard to achieve the goals they have chosen for themselves. This can lead to their being considered stubborn, but they are really just dedicated to following their own path as best they can -- and they are usually well-equipped to do so with sharp, logical minds.  Some sources say that Ox women lack a sense of humor, are prone to haggle, and may appear unapproachable.

Several of the sources I checked say that individuals born under the Ox in 2009 are likely to follow a path that requires hard work but no unusual hardships, and will likely earn a great deal of money through their efforts.  In the early years they will have trouble holding onto their money, but as time goes on they will be able to settle into a comfortable life thanks to earning proper rewards for their ongoing diligence, talent, and hard work.   (Dude, maybe that means your niece will be able to support you in your dotage...?!?)

Da ji da li - "Good luck and [have] a profitable year!"

 My niece is indeed honest, diligent, earnest, and a hard worker; there's a reason she's carrying straight A's in school while also taking various dance classes six days per week while also being a member of her studio's competitive dance team while also learning how to play the flute.  She loves it when her hard work is recognized and rewarded, but never goes out of her way to call attention to it (and gets annoyed when others around her begin grandstanding in an effort to be noticed).  She is amazingly caring, kind-hearted, and empathic, and her love is given unconditionally.  She has already decided that she wants to be a veterinarian and is taking steps to achieve that goal (even going so far as to discuss opening a joint practice with a friend who also wants to enter that profession).

Although she can indeed negotiate, haggle, and debate when she feels the need (when she was younger, we used to joke that she was practicing to become a trial lawyer), she differs from the standard lore in that she definitely does NOT lack a sense of humor, and usually has no trouble making friends when she meets new people.  (In fact, her sense of humor is undeniable, unavoidable, and sometimes rather loud!)

So why the question mark in the title?

Well, as I mentioned earlier, the Chinese zodiac comprises a full dozen animals -- and they each have a full year, as opposed to the Western zodiac's (roughly) 30-day period per astrological sign.  The last year of the Ox was 2009, and it won't come around again until 2034... when Miri will be an adult, attaining the ripe old age of 24.  Every year she's been home, we've attended at least some kind of special celebration & event to celebrate the turning of the year, and even in those years when major events have been cancelled or we could not attend we managed to have get-togethers with fellow adoptive families and attend at least one lion dance performance. So of course this year, which is her year for the first time since birth, there are no dance performances, no big celebrations, no lion dances, no big noisy luncheons with our friends... nada, bupkis, nuthin', zero.  (Thanks fer nuthin', SARS-nCOV-2, in all your damned variants, strains, and mutations.  And thanks fer nuthin', an administration that didn't give a damn.)

Miri has sad that she was disappointed in that of all the years she's experienced, the first go-round of her year was the one during which there really wasn't any way to celebrate.  Over the past 12 months, the special Patrol picnic at her school was cancelled, the year-end school picnic was cancelled, all her remaining elementary school classes suddenly became poorly presented online shadows of themselves, all the events celebrating the "graduation" from elementary school to middle school were cancelled, all her summer get-togethers with friends were cancelled, all the tours of her new middle school were morphed into videos on a laptop, our week-long beach vacation was cancelled, her middle school classes were morphed into semi-interactive videos on a laptop, many of her dance classes were (at least temporarily) changed into online sessions, the competitive dance season was essentially cancelled, multiple dance performances were cancelled or morphed into online videos in an almost deserted studio, and even the possibility of a couple of months of actual in-person schooling at the end of the academic year are looking like a total washout.

On top of that, several of the stricter lockdowns brought residual feelings of abandonment to the forefront of her memory, options for getting a leg up on various personal goals were eliminated or pushed back by at least a year... and we are all very much aware that there will be no Grandma & Grandpa to celebrate the New Year of the Ox the next time it comes around.  Add to that the stresses of dealing with some ongoing family medical issues and... yeah, it's a pretty sucky way to "celebrate" Miri's year the first (and only) time her entire family can be together for it.

We're doing what we can... funny shirts, some special gifts, hong bao (the kid's got more pocket cash than I do these days!), some decorations at home... but it's obviously far short of what we've been able to do every year up until this one.  It came to a head the other night when we had a celebratory dinner with our folks that featured several soups & dishes from our favorite Chinese restaurant.  Miri had her usual egg drop soup, white rice mixed with duck sauce, and some of the crunchy outer layers of an egg roll -- the kid just doesn't like Chinese food even though we had it at her request.  As we were finishing our meal, Miri just got quiet... and after a few more minutes had passed she was quietly crying in AJ's arms just because out of sheer frustration over the whole situation.

It wasn't too long before the Pipsqueak was back to her usual self, singing quietly to herself while dancing in the kitchen, then laughing at a silly video on her iPad after venting her frustrations over all that was not going right, but the message was clear: After years of waiting for "her" year, and after  what I sincerely hope is the toughest year of her life ever, nothing was going to plan and everything was at best "just okay" when she'd wanted (and earned) so much more.  (And I'm sure that the other Ox kids in our MIT group have been sharing the same letdown & disappointment.... I'm just writing this from a very personal perspective, I don't want to minimize their feelings in any way.)

So yeah, there's a question mark in my title... but we all remain hopeful while pushing through whatever it is we're trying to push through on a daily basis.  Miri is proudly maintaining straight A's in school and is willingly putting in whatever effort is required to do so.  She appeared in several dances in her studio's (delayed) annual recital, including her first-ever solo -- which she absolutely slayed -- all of which was watched online by family & friends scattered around the country.  The return to in-person schooling is pretty much dead for this academic year, but she's satisfied that she had a major role in that decision and spends time actually laughing at how blasé she is about it all now after months of steadily increasing anxiety about whether or not she'd be able to cope with middle school last summer & fall.  The vet who runs the clinic where all the family cats are patients has told her that once she's past her 12th birthday (due to insurance restrictions), there is an open invitation for her to spend time helping & observing behind the scenes so she can get a real taste of what it's like to be a vet while earning required credits for the school system.  We even managed to (finally!) have a zoom session with one of the families who traveled in China with us, and Miri and their daughter have connected via text & social media.

Yeah, some of what we're all dealing with absolutely sucks (on a good day), and she's beginning to experience (sometimes bemusedly, sometimes angrily, sometimes just quietly shaking her head) all the drama and craziness and sturm und drang that occurs naturally within a group of friends who are encountering hormones for the first time, but Miri knows we have her back when it matters, her best friends are still (mostly) truly her friends, and that she is doing what she needs to do in order to achieve the goals she has chosen for herself.  (And yes, AJ & I both independently talked with her about both the importance of working diligently to achieve her chosen professional goal and the fact that she will still have our support and plenty of other alternatives if she comes to the realization that it's not right for her  at some point.)

Things could certainly be better... but they could also be a lot worse.  We're all working together as a family to get through the rough stuff while still finding ways to have fun & celebrate the good things in life. The Pipsqueak knows she can (mostly) make her own choices and that someone's got her back when she does so, and absolutely any and all issues that come up are fair game for discussion, sharing, and brainstorming.

So, yes... Gong xi fa cai!  Happy New Year!